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Keeping an Explanation of Benefits from outing you on a family plan

When you use insurance as a dependent, an Explanation of Benefits describing your care is usually mailed to the policyholder. A confidential communications request asks the plan to send it to your own address or portal instead. Most plans have a process; many people never learn it exists.

Applies to Anyone covered as a dependent or spouse. Rules and forms differ by insurer and state; Colorado is unusually supportive.

What to do

  1. Ask member services for the confidential communications process

    Use that phrase. Insurers also call it a confidential communications request or an alternative mailing address request.

  2. Submit the request in writing

    State that you are requesting confidential communications, give the address, email, or portal you want used, and ask for written confirmation.

  3. Ask whether you must state a reason

    Some plans and states require only the request. Others ask you to state that disclosure could endanger you. Ask before you volunteer detail.

  4. Ask what the request does and does not cover

    It may cover Explanation of Benefits mailings but not claim histories in the policyholder's portal account. Get the scope in writing.

  5. Check the portal separately

    A policyholder's online account may show dependents' claims regardless of where paper mail goes. This is the gap people discover after the fact.

  6. Confirm it took effect before you use the benefit

    Ask for written confirmation and, where possible, verify with a low-stakes claim first.

What this can and cannot do

A confidential communications request redirects the plan's communications with you. It does not hide the claim from the plan, from the employer's aggregate data, or necessarily from a policyholder's own online account. Ask specifically about the portal — paper and portal are governed separately by many insurers, and assuming otherwise is the common failure.

Colorado

Colorado is often cited as an early and favourable state for confidential communications. We have not been able to confirm the specific statute behind that from a primary source, so no citation is given here — ask the Colorado Division of Insurance what currently applies. The practical steps above do not depend on which statute it is.

Common questions

Do I have to explain why I want this?
It varies. Some plans grant the request on request; some ask you to state that disclosure could put you at risk. Ask what your plan requires before offering details.
Will this hide my claims from the policyholder's online account?
Not necessarily. Portal access is often handled separately from mailings. Ask about it explicitly.
Last updated 2026-08-06Not legal or medical advice